Take Me Out to the Ball Game

So, the title is a bit cliche, and totally gave away the topic of this here blog post, but I don't care. Today I woke up and saw the sun shining, heard birds chirping, and I think I heard a lawnmower somewhere nearby. When I woke up, for the briefest of seconds, I thought it was summer. To me, summer is the greatest, most bestest season of all. Hot weather and I are very good friends and I'm a pretty badass swimmer. I don't hate snow cones and I've never been one to tell a girl her shorts are too short. All of this is good fun, but one
of the reasons I love summer so much is because of the ol' American pastime. Baseball is one of my passions.

I was a decent player as a kid-made some teams, got cut from some teams, you know how that goes- but it was the little things that always made me love the sport. The traditions. The equipment. The rules. The stats. Diving catches and laser throws really get me turned on. All-in-all baseball tickles my fancy in all the best ways. Recently, pitchers and catchers and a couple position players reported to Spring Training, which means we're very close to REAL LIFE BASEBALL, PEOPLE!! Well, not baseball that counts towards a World Series, but men throwing balls at men who are trying to destroy said ball with a wooden club. BASEBALL!

This here blog post thingy is going to be the beginning of my 2012 MLB Preview. The tricky thing about writing a baseball season preview is that I could write it 2 ways. The first way would appeal to roughly nobody. It involves a lot of math and stats like BABIP, OPS, FIP, ERA+, WAR, and other acronyms that mean little to nothing to most people. The other way I could write this is the way I write all my entries. Some sports knowledge, a little insight that the "pros" missed, and lots and lots of sarcasm. Essentially, when I write something, before I hit enter, I ask myself, "Miller, are women going to read this and laugh, or regret wasting 47 seconds?" Usually, I have to create a perfect blend of entertainment and sports knowledge. It is going to be tricky to mix important statistical evidence and interesting stuff, but hey, here goes nothin'.

It's a big ass league, so I'm gonna do the National League East today:

Atlanta Braves

(2011 Record 89-73)

I remember spending afternoons in the 90's hanging out in my basement with my brother watching the Braves on TBS. We always wondered why Atlanta games were on cable in Indianapolis. I just assumed Atlanta was in Kentucky

or something. I remember all the stars that rolled through Hotlanta and my favorite has always been Chipper Jones. I have family down south with the last name Jones. I think I always hoped I'd bump into him. Anyway, he's an old geezer now. But the Braves always manage to win. Somehow, without fail, they are over .500 and contending for the playoffs. Michael Bourn is a great leadoff hitter. Jason Heyward has potential to be an elite hitter, but had sophomore troubles. Per usual, the strength of the Braves is their pitching. They have a strong rotation, but a dominating bullpen. Johnny Venters and Craig Kimbrel are as close to unhittable as they get.

New York Mets

(2011 Record 77-85)

2012 is going to be a rough year for the ol Metropolitans. Carlos Beltran and Jose Reyes are with other clubs. One of those 2 led the team in BA, HR, RBI, R, OPS. Demz iz some important statz. They still have Ike Davis and Jason Bay, but they've become mere serviceable hitters. No lineup should be built around them. David Wright has a loootttt of pressure this year. There's talent in the rotation, but they're all blessed with fragile baby girl arms. It's tough to expect a whole season from Johan Santana. I don't think there's a trip to the playoffs any time soon for this team. They know it too. Jeff Wilpon, or J-Wilp, chief operating officer of the Mets, even got Underdog shirts made for his players.

Miami Marlins

(2011 Record 72-90)

Who the hell are the Miami Marlins? Ohhh that's the team with the fish mascot, right? Nope, guess again sucka. This is a whole new team. They changed from Florida, to Miami, which is wayyy cooler, and got a baller new stadium, and they switched up the logo.

Trippy, eh? They spent big on marketing, clearly, and they didn't skimp on players, either. They missed out on the biggest fish of em all (see what I did there?), Albert Pujols, but got Jose Reyes and Heath Bell. Add them to a cast of stars including Hanley Ramirez, Gaby Sanchez, Mike Stanton, Josh Johnson, and Ricky Nolasco, and that's a lot of ball players. I expect this makeover to extend into the win column and the Marlins oughtta contend for the playoffs.

Philadelphia Phillies

(2011 Record 103-60)

It's been a while since the Illadelph wasn't the favorite to take the East crown. Last year the Phils were the only team to reach 100 victories in MLB sanctioned baseball contests. This year will be more of the same. Roy Halladay, Cliff Lee, and Cole Hamels are all Cy Young caliber starters. Vance Worley was phenomenal in his rookie season, going 11-3. I don't trust W/L, but his peripheral stats back it up. To sure up the bullpen, they picked up Jonathan Papelbon The offense will be lacking a little with Ryan Howard starting the season on the DL, but they should still be able to put up some runs. If Chase Utley is anything close to his old self, Shane Victorino stays healthy, and Hunter Pense hits like he did after he was traded to Philly, Placido Polanco hits like he did at the beginning of 2011, and Jimmy Rollins continues to defy time and play at an above average level, then the Phillies will be fine. Wait, that's an awful lot of ifs. They could win 88 games, or 108 games. Intriguing...

Washington Nationals

(2011 Record 80-81)

I never thought I'd say errr type this, but the Nationals might be kinda good this year. Seriously, before you move on to something better, read this. I'm not crazy. Last year, they were one game away from .500. For some reason they played 161 games last year. I'm gonna give them the benefit of the doubt, and say they were a .500 team in 2011. That's excellent news for Nationals fans considering their bright future. They've got the two highest rated prospects in years with Stephen Strasburg and Bryce Harper. Strasburg will start the season as the ace in the rotation, while there's an off chance Harper gets some big league action this year. They added Gio Gonzalez from Oakland, who is a very underrated player who is the perfect #2 starter. Jordan Zimmermann only went 8-11 in 2011, but he's just 25 and entering his prime, so there's every reason to expect his 3.16 FIP, .251 BAA, 6.92 K/9 all the continue to improve. The pitching is set with the three at the front of the rotation, and Drew Storen (from Brownsburg, IN) shutting down in the 9th (43 Svs). Until Bryce Harper arrives, the Nats aren't the scariest offense in the bigs. They recently extended franchise 3b Ryan Zimmerman (no relation to Jordan^^) to a long contract and Mike Morse tore it up last season, but time will tell if that'll be a consistent occurrence. If 2010 Jayson Werth shows up, watch out NL, the Nats might be, gulp, good.

I still don't think anyone is going to catch the Phillies, but I'd be surprised if they win the division by 13 games again. The Braves, Marlins, and Nationals can all win on any given day. The Mets clearly don't have big expectations for 2012, but they're going to be in the NL East cellar for years to come if they don't address their future soon. There won't be a clear favorite in this division until the end. These teams are going to beat the crap out of each other.

Predictions:

1. Phillies- they've earned the right to be favorites until they show signs of losing.

2. Marlins- if Josh Johnson plays like pre-injury and Hanley Ramirez is actually OK with playing third, they are going to be good.

3. Braves- All they have to do is be winning going into the 6th inning, and the bullpen will finish the game. That's a very valuable thing.

4. Nats- their key players aren't going anywhere. They'll be better than in the past, but 2013/14 are going to be where they assess their progress as an organization.

5. Mets- Never fear, Underdog is here!

A Magical Week

OMG!!! Did you see that comeback? I've never seen anything like it. I mean, there was some bullsnot calls. I think the refs just wanted to appease the fans who traveled so far to see their boys do work and try to cement themselves at the top of the football world. In the end, the real winners were the fans. A game like that will stay in our minds for a very, very long time.

I mean, when Chelsea went up 3-0 early in the second half, I thought Manchester United had just took a giant dump on their title chances. But after to horrendous calls gave Wayne Rooney two easy PK goals, and an amazing cross from Giggs to Chicharito, it was knotted up 3-3 and would end that way. ManU stays in second within striking distance of crosstown rivals, Man City. Woo what a game!

Oh, wait, what? You meant the American football game. Yeah that didn't suck either. We all saw the game. Brady's safety, Manningham's catch, Welker's not catch, Bradshaw accidentally scoring a TD with a minute to go, Tuck getting to Brady, and that Hail Mary. Oi. Great game. But if you want some analysis on the actual football competition go watch ESPN for like 15 seconds. You'll get highlights.

I'm here to write a little bit about the Super Bowl being in Indianapolis. I decided to take a 5 day, 4 night vacation to my glorious hometown to experience what was to experience (once again, I had to foot my own bill). And OH MY GOD WAS IT AMAZING!!!!! You should have heard how hard I pounded the keys for that sentence. I can not think of anything that could have been better.

First and foremost, the weather. This is the first week of February in Indianapolis. This week last year, I built a 20 foot snow ramp with my roommates. This year I got to wear shorts and t-shirt all week. Maybe the weather got into people's heads, but everyone in this city was in a good mood 24/7. People always say that the people in Indiana are friendly, but this week was amazing. So many people praised our city for being the most hospitable host town they can remember. I can't imagine that any city has ever been more excited to host the big game. I mean, we realllly needed something good after the Colts' season.

I was downtown Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights. It was better than Mardi Gras. It was better than Las Vegas. It was better than Crawfordsville. It was the most beautiful thing I've ever laid eyes on. The Super Bowl village was a ginormous party. Showing some great foresight, the folks in charge of laws n whatnot decided to get rid of the open container laws for the week. We can drink in the street! Party!! The only people that got hurt by the weather and new rules were the bar owners. People didn't have any reason to go inside.

Super Bowl Village was just that-- a legit village. Unlike other hosts, Indy had everything close together. Lucas Oil, the convention center, all the bars, and Circle Center Mall, all can be accessed from the same streets. That meant that Umphrees McGee could play their show on one stage, and the crowd literally had to turn around to see the O.A.R. stage. Who would have thought that LMFAO would have the biggest show of the week? There were so many people there that people could only move a few feet in an hour. BUT IT WAS STILL AWESOME!

I can't tell you how many people have stories about Tim Tebow buying them a drink. Or Bradley Cooper hanging out with them at a party. Seeing Matthew Stafford in the streets. And Ryan Gosling. My girlfriend loves him, and he decided to be the most accessible celeb in town. I saw him, and took her the other way. I don't like competition.

I'm running out of time, and stories that are allowed to be publicized, so I'll wrap it up. This weekend was the best time of my life. It was a once in a lifetime opportunity and I think I made the most of it. I stayed out of jail, I made friends with real life Jersey guidos, and I got to taunt cops with alcohol in the streets. Life was good this week. Back to the grind. And snow.

Thoughts on the Super Bowl

I'm currently sitting in a riveting class about Presidential Rhetoric "learning" about something. It's probably important. Professor's looking at me and I'm typin like a mad man. She's thinking, "That Miller guy takes some furious notes, good thing he's not writing some blog." Heh, jokes on you, lady.

I've never blogged in class before. But hey, at some point a few years ago I'd never blogged in North America, so there's a first time for everything. I'm five lines deep in this post and I've yet to mention sports. That's probably because I started this article without a topic in mind. I'm just stalling.

I guess the biggest thing going on in the sports world this week is that football game in my hometown, the Nasty Nap, the Circle City, the home of Mike Epps, THE Indianapolis, Indiana. Yes, just a few short miles from my humble abode will be Super Bowl XLVI. I believe that "ecks ell vee eye" is Roman for 46. This is the biggest thing to happen in Indy since Justin Bieber brought Drake out on stage during his show. I mean, the cover charges in the bars downtown jumped from $4 to $80-$120. Guess who's got two thumbs and is gonna drink at home? This guy. Surprisingly, I don't make much money from my writing career, and the NFL forgot to send me my press pass and party vouchers. Not to mention my invites to the Playboy and Maxim parties got sent to the wrong address (I moved over Thanksgiving). I guess all I get to do is get free tee shirts and watch the game on television.

Anyway, I suppose I should talk about the game a little bit. We've got the New York Giants vs the New England Patriots. I don't know if you know, but I hate the Pats with every fiber of my being. I genuinely wish Tom Brady was paralyzed in a tragic fan boat accident. Bill Belichick is a cheating piece of trash that drowns puppies in his free time. Needless to say, when Billy Cundiff shanked that gimme field goal in Foxborough, thus sending the Pats to my hometown, I was furious. I don't know if I could ever bear the sight of Tom Brady hoisting the Lombardi Trophy in Indianapolis. Let's just say tears will be shed if the Patriots win. Might be mine, might be Brady's.

Since I hate the Patriots, and the Giants are quarterbacked by Eli Manning, you'd think I'd be cheering full force the G-Men. Nope. Not I. I love Peyton Manning as much as I love an ice cold Newcastle (that's a lot), so you'd think I'd want his lil bro to win another Super Bowl over the team I hate most. This would be the case, but I don't want to listen to every expert on the television say that Eli is the best Manning. I can just hear the debate in 5 years. "You know, Boomer, Peyton may have finished with 5 MVP's and every career passing record there is, but Eli won two championships. You play to win the big one." It makes me physically ill just thinking about it.

I suppose in the end, I'd prefer to see the Giants win. Tom Coughlin would become the oldest coach to win the big one. Mathias Kiwanuka went to high school in Indy, and starts at linebacker for New York, so there's someone to cheer for. While I want both teams to lose, it should be a great game. It's gonna be a shoot out, which makes for exciting football. Tom finished the season with the third best quarterback rating, while Eli finished seventh. The Patriots had the 31st ranked passing defense (out of 32) and the Giants were slightly better at 29th. I'm thinking both Qbs go for 350+ yards and a couple TDs. Victor Cruz was the MVP of the Designated Drinkers-- my 8th place fantasy football team. I'd enjoy seeing him have a great game.

This year will be a great game for football fans everywhere. I would have liked to see almost any other matchup, but I'm a selfish dickhead. Indianapolis is going to get some amazing publicity, not to mention a bit of an economy boost, and I can be down with that. I've always been a huge Madonna fan, so the halftime show should be pretty stellar. That was sarcasm. We're only 5 days from new commercials, good football, and hopefully Tom Brady crying. Get excited people.

Makin Crap Up

Holey canole (see what I did there?) it's been a really long time since I posted on this here blog. After a 373 day hiatus, I'm back to spit sports knowledge at you like it's my job. A lot of awesomely amazing stuff has happened in the sporting world in the last year. Can you imagine how awesomely amazinger it would have been if I got off my lazy ass and wrote about it? Yeah, I let you, the loyal reader (I know I don't have loyal readers, let me pretend) down in 2011, but I can win you back. I promise to deliver at least twice as many posts in 2012. Uhh, when I started the previous sentence, I was under the impression that I only wrote once in 2011. I did 3 whole post thingys last year. Looks like I just promised 6 posts. That's quite a commitment. Welp, let's get started.

All of the guys in my circle of friends are pretty knowledgeable about sports. We can sit down to watch a game and, for the most part, anything said is a tidbit of knowledge that enhances the game. Yet, somehow I've managed to convince my friends that I know just about everything about sports. When someone doesn't know a stat, or a player's college, or how many kids the backup running back has, they come to me. Usually, I just lay some knowledge on them, and they take my answer as fact. I enjoy the fact that my friends have such faith in me, but I think it's time I started giving some bullshit information. Not very often, but enough to keep em honest. I mean, I have a blog. They don't just hand these things out.

I'm typically an honest person. I'm an awful lot like Abe Lincoln in that respect. That is not to say I'm perfect. I lie to girls on occasion. Usually it's about how interested I am in the drama of her life. Now and then I'll claim to be a professional athlete. Somehow that one's never worked. I don't start a conversation with a woman thinking about telling a lie, but sometimes they're just asking for it. This conversation happened in a bar two weeks ago:

Woman Person: OMG, LOL!! Totes obvi!

Me: Hey, I'm Miller.

WP: I have a really generic female name like Kate, or Sarah or something! I think it starts with an E actually!

Me: Right on, I'll forget in a couple weeks.

WP: You're so funny. And strong and handsome.

Me: Look, sports is on tv!

(Both look up to see Aaron Rodgers on SportsCenter)

WP: Aaron Rodgers is so cute. If I'd have known about him a long time ago, I'd have been a Packers fan for years.

Me: How have you not heard of Aaron Rodgers?

WP: I don't watch much football. What college did he go to?

(At this point I'm just gonna throw all caution to the wind)

Me: IU. Duh.

WP: OMG Me TOO!!! How old is he?

Me: 28ish. He's been starting for the Packers since Brett Favre died.

WP: Brett Favre died?

Me: Yeah. Like 8 years ago when the stadium in Minnesota collapsed in a snow storm.

WP: Ohh golly. I had no idea. You're so smart.

That's pretty much what happened. In the end, I totally got the girl... to ignore me. Oh well, win some lose some. This time, though, I consider a major win. But really, that chick liked him over me?

BCS Championship

So, the game starts here in about.... an hour. This post is late. Get over it, you'll live. I'll keep it short, I just need to get my predictions out there so that when I'm 100% right, nobody can deny my genius. I'm well aware that this is also a way to prove to the world that I may not know what I'm talking about, but hey, that's what a delete button is for.

Tonight we've got the Mighty Ducks and the Cam Newton's. Pac 10 vs SEC. Speed vs uhh... Speed. Coming into the game Auburn is ranked #1 and Oregon is ranked #2. Upon a little bit of research, Auburn is favored by two. I don't know who makes these rankings, but I'd suspect a 12 year old. Obviously whoever comes up with the spread has a bedtime around 9 o'clock, because that would explain why they've never seen Oregon play on that there west coast. Check their schedule. They had one close game, against Cal, but also dropped 40+ in 10 out of 12 games. They start slowly, but typically pour it on in the 3rd quarter, and have never trailed in a 4th quarter this year.

Auburn is good too. But check their schedule. They won 6 of their 13 games by one score or less. Ummm, that aint what a championship team does. If you're not killin folks on the regular, I'm not impressed. I think they deserve to be in the game. They did go undefeated in the SEC, which is quite a feat. I'm just a little stunned at their #1 ranking and the fact that they're favored.

Obviously, I'm going with Nike University here. Their speed and depth are great. Their fashion is better. I think it'll be just like every game they've had this year. It'll be 17-17 at the half, but that Oregon will drop bombs in the 4th quarter, and will win 41-31. Count on it. Bet on it. Take the over if you're a gambler (the over/under is 72.) Trust me, I'm a writer.

Cheaters Never Win... Sometimes

I have some tattoos and I plan on getting more. Getting inked is a little addicting, but is quite expensive. On my 3, I've dropped close to $100 a piece. That's a hefty fee. But despite my love for tattoos, I'd never, ever, trade sports awards for one. That's exactly what 5 Ohio State players did. Starting QB Terrelle Pryor, starting RB Dan Herron, starting WR DeVier Posey, All-Big Ten tackle Mike Adams, and DE Solomon Thomas all traded memorabilia for tats. They traded things such as their Fiesta bowl rings, and their commemorative gold Buckeye's pants for the ink. This is what we like to call "illegal."

But this is old news. The NCAA found out about these cheaters and dolled out 5 game suspensions to each one. Normally, this would be quite acceptable and we'd move on with our lives and go back to hearing Brett Favre stories. Only when you find out that they are suspended starting next year does it raise some eyelashes. If you're like me, and talk to yourself, you said, "But wait a minute, NCAA, they have another game this season! And it's kind of important. It's the Sugar Bowl." Nobody ever responds though....

But we press on. The NCAA claimed the 5 tatted up hooligans should be allowed to play because of two main reasons. Numero uno- they did not have sufficient education regarding the rules of the NCAA. Numero twono- the suspensions would give Arkansas a competitive advantage.

This is retarded. Firstly, everyone knows this is against the rules. I'm not a college athlete, but I woulda known that I can't sell shit that was free to me. Especially if it was given by the NCAA. I mean, is this not common knowledge? You can't let them play simply because nobody sat these guys down and said, "Here's your championship rings. Don't sell them. Tis illegal. Got it fellers?" And regarding the other reason- I'm glad the NCAA was honest on this one, but I disagree. Obviously the NCAA wants one of their 5 biggest games of the year to be a good one. Ohio State would have been beaten, badly, without those 5 players. And a beat down means people are tuning this game out because, really, who wants to watch a blowout past 11 pm. The game went to the wire, and it also went til about 12:30 am.

Now, the NCAA chose to allow these guys to play, and they gave us their reasons. That doesn't let OSU off the hook. The university could have suspended them, too. But what did coach Jim Tressel choose to do? He made them all promise not to go to the NFL this year if they wanted to come to the Sugar Bowl. A promise? By this crew? Don't hold your breath. We've seen it a billion times before- a good BCS performance can bump a guy up a whole round in the draft.

Welp, that's exactly what happened. Ohio State wound up winning a nail biter, 31-26, and each of the 5 suspended players had a pretty big impact. Pryor had 2 TD's passing, and had 100+ yards on the ground. Herron had about 85 yds and a TD. Posey led the team in rec yds and had a TD. OSU's offense racked up 446 total yards, thanks in large part to the O-line, bolstered by Adams. And while Thomas didn't start on the D-line (which was amazing, and was the reason OSU won) he still made the biggest play of the game. With a minute to go and trailing by 5, Arkansas did the unthinkable- they blocked a punt and recovered it on OSU's 15ish yard line. Holy canoly, Arkansas is gonna pull this out! Psych, Thomas subs in for a sneaky defensive package that OSU has only used in 2 games this year. He dropped into coverage and made the first interception of his football career (it's true, all the way back to middle school). I mean, wow. Those guys don't show up and I bet Arkansas wins 41-17, like most BCS games involving OSU and an SEC team.

Don't get me wrong, friends. I'm a Big Ten guy through and through. I wanted Ohio State to win this one. But I get a strange feeling in my belly about it. While everything that happened was within the rules, I can't help but think that somebody, somewhere could have done the right thing here.

Sports Bucket List

Now, I've been quite fortunate in being able to attend some of the greatest sporting events in the world. I've been to MLB, NBA, and NFL games like its my job. I've been to great college rivalries. I've seen tennis superstars play in person. I've seen some of the biggest events in auto racing. My presence has been felt in the front row at a few USA Track & Field national championships (Great autograph opportunities there, might I say). Hell, I've even been to some damn good high school games, but there's so much more I want, no NEED, to see before I die.

Everyone has things they want to do before they kick the bucket. For some people it's skydiving, or sleeping with a model. For some people it's going to college, or writing a badass blog. Well, I've done all of that. Now I've gotta concentrate on getting some sporting goals accomplished.

Of course, there's some things that are a given. It's common knowledge that everyone wants to hit up a Super Bowl someday. And nobody would be crushed if they could see the Olympics or a World Cup some day. I've got some more personal goals. I'm not saying I won't ever go to those ginormous events, the Super Bowl is in Indianapolis soon, but there's some things that would be life changing events that some people don't know about. The tentative plan is to highlight 5 things the Miller is gonna do someday, but, hey, if I get on a roll, I won't stop myself.

Winter X-Games

One thing I love almost as much as anything considered a "sport" (except hockey) is a good party. Combine a bunch of athletes and pretty girls with snow sports, and I'm hooked. The Winter X-Games is an event that's always held in a winter wonderland, with amazing feats of athleticism during the day and ragin' parties at night. That's something I can get behind.

This is an event built for me, really. I like to think that when it comes to sports that involve the cold, wet stuff, I can appreciate them. It's no secret amongst folks that know me that I'm pretty freakin good on a pair of skis. One thing that makes this event a little bit harder to cross off the list is that it's kind of an age appropriate thing. I'm only gonna be in my 20's for so long. Nobody wants to be that old head trying to watch a half pipe competition, or trying to get into a club with all the young whipper snappers. If I wait too long, I might come to my senses and begin to think to myself, 'It's quite dangerous to go off 30 jumps and hang upside down.' Don't want my common sense messing this up for me. You know, this thing's comin up. Anyone got a place to stay in Aspen for Jan. 27-30?

LSU Night Game

First off, I'm not an LSU fan by any means, but who wouldn't want to experience this? Tiger Stadium is better know as "Death Valley" and probably for good reason. This thing holds 92,000 people and they know how to turn a game into an experience. In 1988, after a go ahead 4th quarter touchdown, the crowd's reaction actually registered on a seismograph. That means earthquake, my friend. The fans caused an earthquake. AN EARTHQUAKE FOR GOD'S SAKE! Who does that?

It's pretty easy to argue that the SEC has a pretty high level of football going on, so I know there'd be no letdown when it comes to a quality game. It's also not hard to find someone to argue that this is the hardest football stadium to play in for the visitors. Just ask... ANYONE WHO'S EVER PLAYED THERE!! Mike Huckabee, when governor of the crappy state of Arkansas, once said, "Unfair is playing LSU on a Saturday night in Baton Rouge." No, Mike, unfair is the fact that I haven't been to one of those games yet.

Kentucky Derby

When I was in 6th grade we had to write a real life "research paper" (more like one, big 5 paragraph typo) about what we wanted to be when we grew up. This involved things like consulting with the teacher, a thesis, and a printer. All things that seemed silly at the time. When I was asked what I wanted to be, I said either a baseball player, or a zoo keeper. While neither of those is very likely these days, it does show that I kind of liked animals back when I was little 12 year old chump with blond highlights. That's probably the biggest reason that the Kentucky Derby is high on my list.

I've never been to a horse race, but I have ridden a horse. Kinda. Those things are big, strong, pretty animals, and to see them run up close would be amazing. And if that doesn't tickle your fancy, betting is there to make it a little more exciting. Not to mention profitable. Psych. I know that when I go to this thing, I'll gamble, and lose. But I won't care. I'm in it for the spectacle. The Derby is one of the biggest sporting events in the world and it brings out some interesting people. And interesting people means sweet hats. I'm a bit of a hat collector myself, so after I've lost all my money, sipped a few too many mint juleps, and lost interest in these animals, I always have a legit interest in the headwear to keep me happy. All in all, it's got quite a few things that would make a day at Churchill Downs an amazing, memorable event.

Final Four

I know I said I'd try to stay away from the easy choices, but I think my view on this one may be a little different. I don't want to go to the NCAA Championship. OK, if you handed me a ticket, I wouldn't burn it, but I'm more interested in going to the semi finals. I mean, what more could one ask for than back-to-back amazingly well-played (three hyphens- 1 sentence) basketball games.

I'm from Indiana, so I like to toot my own horn when it comes to basketball knowledge. Being a Hoosier also makes it so that I'm practically guaranteed (guaranteed being a very strong word) to see a hometown team in the Final Four, but not so much the Championship. To me, outstanding, amateur basketball is the absolute perfect way to spend a Saturday night.

UEFA Champions League Final

We'll be leaving the US of A for this one and knocking a couple life goals out of the way. Something I've always wanted to do is visit a country where English isn't spoken. I've also always wanted to see a soccer game played by people who are good. Thus, they won't be speaking English, or at least American English. I've left the country before, but only to places with accents, not other languages. A Champions League Final, unless it were in England, would fulfill all those bucket listy things. The game is held in late spring, so, unless it were in Russia like last year, it would make for a pretty decent vacation.

The UEFA Champions League Final is easily the single best soccer game the world has to offer each year. It is the culmination of two years hard work for the teams involved. The first year requires the team to finish well enough in their domestic league (English Premiership, Spanish La Liga, Italian Serie A, German Bundesliga, Dutch Eredivisie, French Ligue 1, and a few more). If they can do well in their league, they earn a spot in the Champions League the next year. This is a 9 month tournament, that ends with, supposedly, the two best club teams in the world. No other sport (that I watch) has a sweet ass tournament like this. A Champions League Final is the pinnacle of soccer, and I just want to see it. Could be a pretty great 90 minutes.


This is just a few of the things I'm going to see someday. There's about a billion more things that I could name, but, realistically, you probably stopped reading a long time ago. Don't worry, I won't hold it against you. Also, if anyone has an extra ticket to Munich in the Spring of 2012, hit me up.